I don’t know why I allowed it to happen, but there are two of me.

The first me is the one you get to meet. She’s friendly, a little funny and has the grand skill of making you feel at ease and unthreatened. People love her and I totally get why, I think she’s pretty dope.

Over time you’ll see cracks in the facade of Me #1 as Me #2 demands to take over. See, Me #2 is probably as close to the real me as is possible. She’s a little intense, quiet, and prefers to spend all of her time alone, even at the disgust of her best friends. The humor is still there, but it gets a little darker.

It’s difficult for me to see people’s disillusion when they realize that I’m not who they initially measured me to be. I chat easily and laugh rambunctiously, so when the introversion overcomes me, I disappear. The few times I reappear in public, I’m not quite the person they met and the general feeling then is that the ‘like’ is not shared.

I want to scream from the mountaintop: I like you! I like you as much as you initially thought. Because it is not fake. Me #1 is real and sincere and enjoys the journey of getting to know someone. I just cannot maintain that part of me. I need very long periods of isolation to restore a modicum of that energy.

Despite countless potential friendships that never came to mature, there have been some extroverts in my life that have managed to stick it out with me. Who understand when I “go underground” as one friend calls it. Friends who understand that popping up at my house unannounced will probably kill me. And that time goes by differently for introverts. Three weeks for you is a moment for an introvert. You feel we haven’t seen each other in three weeks…I don’t know what the problem is, I just spoke to you like yesterday…

This is for the extroverts who understand! Your random “popping in” texts are not just texts to us. It’s reminders that we live full lives with rich friendships and that we can brag…electronically…to other introverts that we have friends and have lives and that we do stuff…

This is for the extroverts who send invites to parties knowing we probably won’t go. Or if we go, we’ll spend the whole time there yearning for home. Thank you for understanding that we don’t love home more than we love you. It’s just that our engines are built differently. You can run for miles on a 15 gallon tank. Our fuel consumption is much harder and will only allow a few metres. And we want to spend those few metres well…

A warm, bubbly chococino shall be had in celebration of understanding extroverts around the world…

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