I’m not here to preach to anyone about vaccines. There is ample scientific information that explicates the truth, I’m just here to moan about people’s stupidity. Including my own.

I’m gonna lay it out on the table here…my country’s roll out of the COVID vaccine reminds me a little of an old giraffe in his last days of life trying to roll a boulder up a sandhill. It’s not going smoothly and it’s not going speedily.

Despite working in education, I’m so far away from being vaccinated, I’m more likely to experience the sting of bladder infection from wearing adult diapers all day in some poorly serviced retirement home as a 87 year-old, than I am from a vaccination needle.

And I’m so keen. Like, I’m ready. I’m packed. The engine is hot and purring like a kitten.

But when I look around me I think that maybe we don’t deserve a vaccine. We have the anti-vaxxers. Those who believe they’ll grow a tail or turn a tropical color or change genders if they are jabbed. Our genetic code will be mutated, they claim.

Then there are those who think it’s just completely pointless. They’ll get a jabbie jab, but only if you pick them up at home, wrap them in a blankie and give them snacks while they wait. They ain’t going by themselves coz remember…it’s pointless…

Then there are those who are so keen to be infected, they’ll wait till the very end to get the jab. I know this seems bizar. It is not un-bizar. But it appears to me to be true. There are people who want to contract the virus in the same way there are people who justify the general diagnosis of hyperchondria. The clever people talk about a need for attention, I don’t know.

Then there’s people like me. Super keen to get the vaccine, will settle for a glass of oil into which a broken vile of vaccine leaked. I’m just getting fed up with this 16 month long lockdown. I’m over it. I’m hungry for experience and views and freedom and health for all and openness and road trips.

Whatever with the chococino, I’ll drink wine and sit in front of a warm fan until I imagine I’m in a car with the top down, speeding down a highway in the desert…


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