WE NEED TO TALK…

Motherly instincts were never part of my constitution. I love kids but I’ve never had the urge to make something that I will worry about for all eternity. But let me be honest about something…because Lord knows I can’t be honest about this with my friends because they already think I’m lying and secretly wishing for 18 little pairs of pittering pattering feet…

Sometimes I think about all the things I’d teach my daughter if I had one. I don’t think about what I’d teach a boy coz I know sweet fuckall about men.

But a girl…a girl I can teach a few things. Like stuff about science. And fairness. And how to judge what the right things are. And how to be honourable and strong.

Considering my lack of motherly anything…the kid will probably turn out an ill-adjusted serial killer but this is why my baby box is a kid free zone.

There is a point here, albeit a vague one. I’m concerned about what I’m seeing on social media and contemporary television programmes. No-one is happier than me that women are stepping forward, demanding a place at the table. No-one is more thrilled that feminism is being normalized and that those exhibiting overtly sexistic notions are being called out as lice taxis.

But maybe we’re missing the point about feminism? I’ve never understood feminism to represent the view that women are somehow superior to men. I mean, I’ve joked about it after several tequilas, picking on a particularly vulnerable male friend or colleague, but I don’t actually believe that.

I’m seeing a lot of women and girls being encouraged to do and say whatever they feel like under the banner of female empowerment. And I don’t mean the realistic stuff. Of course mothers should choose whether they stay home or return to work. And their choice should bloody well be respected. Of course girls should dress how they feel best expresses who they are. Of course!

But should we really encourage women to behave badly? As a form of vengeance for years of oppression and abuse? I don’t think we should, but there are others who disagree with me.

I will stare at a man’s bottom however long I feel like. But I’m not going to run away with my lover because the husband and kid are getting a bit much. I’m not demanding money and attention and adoration from a man and not giving the same in return. I’m not going to speak to men like they are nothing simply because I’m a modern woman and bitch deserves it (I’m sure I got that wrong…). And I’m sure as shit not going to demand a diamond life when the man I’m with is already working 14 hour days to make ends meet.

Then I’d rather get my ass in gear and build my own diamond life and treat my honey…

Of course, as with all things, not everyone shares this neo-feminism attitudes. But I think that if we’re serious about gender equality, we must teach our children the same things. And what those things are, are of course up to the parentals. But if you’re going to teach your son how to be a man of honor, teach your daughter how to carry herself with honor too. If you’re going to teach your son to stand up for himself with respect and dignity, don’t let your daughter through tantrums and be a “precious princess” and find it funny.

What do I know, I can’t even keep a plant alive. Wine it is then…

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