I love change. Well, to be fair, I don’t know if I actually love change, or if my attitude has been adjusted to adjust to adjusting circumstances. As a young student I obsessed over special forces military units and the type of individual who would passionately pursue such a career. When everyone runs from gunfire, what personality chooses to run at it?
My obsession drove me to read every book I could find on the subject. And the one personality feature that stood out among those who successfully choose such a life, is agility. The ability to adjust to anything, quickly and with ease.
I guess my young mind wanted to be like them, so I might have unwittingly persuaded myself to become agile. And today, thanks to years of self-induced brain-washing, I love change and consider myself a quick adjuster.
But my job is changing and I don’t love it. In fact, I fear that for the first time in my life, I am in danger of making bad decisions. I fear that my temper will betray me by forcing an ill-considered submission of resignation.
And what will I do then?
The world is in economic dire straights and millions have become unemployed. I’m riddled with feelings of guilt for even allowing thoughts of resignation to enter my mind and take up residence there. But I’m so disappointed that my employer – to whom I’ve felt great loyalty and for whom I’ve sacrificed quite a bit – has resorted to intimidation tactics.
It’s an interesting conundrum if you think about it from an objective point of view. The need to hang on to jobs set against the necessity of finding what you love and taking risks to do it. Perhaps decades from now, when today’s kids have become great academics and intellectuals, they will tell us what the pandemic of 2020 has really done to the world. What it has done to their parents…
Another chococino it is then…