I’ve always felt envious of people who can become irritable in only one direction. You know? Those people who exclaim ‘oh I should have stayed in bed today!‘ but they are still perfectly delightful to you. Or those people who are angry at one person but maintain their dignified treatment of others.

I’m not like that. I’m not even in the vicinity of that. I’m not even in the parking area of the vicinity of that…

My mother used to say irritability is my superpower. I become annoyed in every direction. By the grace of God it doesn’t happen often, but when I awake in irritable mood, it explodes over everyone.

When I was forced to open my eyes this morning I realized that Lock-down Day 5 in my country was going to be a doozy. Why was I forced to open my eyes, you ask? Well, I have a six week old kitten with the single sharpest claws God ever filed and his favorite past time is to climb my back. That’s why.

As I sat up to greet the new morning, my kitten, aptly named Ted Bundy, peed on my duvet to make a point.

It took every bit of restraint not to slap him to where the real Ted Bundy is.

As I leaned over to grab my phone to conduct the daily ‘social review’, I found dozens of texts from friends, all in semi-panic about COVID-19 statistics.

Don’t get me wrong, I am sorely aware of the level of seriousness with which this virus operates, but should EVERY text be about him?! In the period between the birth of the damn pathogen and the point where we can resume a quasi-normal life, I’d like to have grown and I’d like to have worked. I won’t be thrilled if I resumed my life after this, being the same old schmuck I’ve always been and my life’s work at the same point it was beginning of March… So I’d really like to live life in the meantime as well and as productively as I can.

And apparently: get on with your life and stop panicking about everything. Science has shown panicking makes viruses more angry, was not a respectful text to send.

To aggravate my annoyance to the mach 390347, I’m still marking student assignments. And I realized that two months of constant nagging has reached perhaps 3 of my 566 students. Now I’m going to have to really freaking up my nag-game on cyber platforms as the whole world turns to online teaching. Shit.

Anyway. Tomorrow I’m going to have to apologize to a few people for my rotten attitude today.

But first I’ll have a chococino. After which I’ll throw the cup against the wall and get into bed.

Ted Bundy will be sleeping on the couch.

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